I just feel so off today

I spent the weekend do waaaaaaay more then I should have. My BFF is getting married in a few short weeks and I hosted her bachelorette party. It was a three day event and I think I got about 6hrs sleep the entire weekend. So today I feel so floopy and out of it! I woke up this morning and just couldn't keep my eyes open. Every time I get up I feel like my head is swimming. I am feeling a little better now, but still not 100%. Every time I ly down to sleep - I can't seem to fall asleep. This blows. I feel like something is wrong, but I am sure that is just paranoia.

On top of all this, it is my Hubby and my 6yr wedding anniversary today. We do not have a lot of extra dough right now, so my parents are taking us out to dinner. Which is nice because we plan to tell them tonight about the baby. We made this really cool DVD of all these pics of us over the last 10yrs and at the end is the pic of of the HPT and then the firs u/s. I'm sure they are going to flip out! Hopefully tell them this soon is the right thing to do. I hate hiding it. There are just some days a girl really needs her mom......

Our Lil Peanut's First Picture

So I just got back from our first appt. We were told not to expect to see anything on the u/s since I am still very early in my pregnancy. But the Doc wanted to make sure our lil peanut was not tubal or anything like that.

She said that she likes the looks of everything! So we are going back in 2weeks for another u/s and to start our actual prenatal screenings.

I am measuring RIGHT on target at 4wks 6Days!!!!

Nervous

So I just can't help being nervous today. We have our first OB/GYN appt today and I am just panicked that we are going to be terrible news. Every appt we have had baby related (prior to this pregnancy) has never been a positive one. So, I am just gearing myself up for the worst but trying to expect the best. It is rough, but I am hanging in. I am really trying hard not to stress and just let things be. I am putting my heart in gods hands and hoping he takes care of it. At this point, I just can't take further disappointment or additional anguish!

On another note - I am really worried that this Baby Blog might sound to complaint driven. I really do not intend to complain. But I think that all Prego women do - right? I mean compared to my 1st pregnancy I am far less whiney -even though my symptoms are so much worse! I am REALLY smiling inside and my gripes are only my attempts to share with the few ppl around me that know. I really am grateful and want to experience all aspects of pregnancy....the good, the bad and the worse!!!!!

Last night my Hubby and I were driving back from errands and I felt a spell of "morning" sickness come on. Now I put "morning" in quotes because it was almost 8pm in the evening....so I had to puke in a shopping bag and then hold it for the rest of the drive....I turn to my Husband say, "Morning Sickness My Ass...." And he quickly replies with a sheepish smile, "Well it's morning somewhere in the world." And I just laughed! Thank god I have him to add in the humor when I am struggling to find it.

Yesterday's Symptoms:
Soar Boobs
Woke up with a headache
Morning Sickness (7:30am, 10:30am, 8pm & 10pm)
Fatigue
Restlessness
Frequest potty breaks
Acne
Emotional

F that F'ing C-Biscuit!!!!

So, I went for my last blood draw today. Every day that I have gone I have gotten someone different. Each person (up until this morning) was nice, courteous and drew my blood without me having to feel a thing. Well this morning that all changed! This crabby bitch didn't smile or say hello to me after calling my name. She sits me down and tells me to squeeze on this thing (even though I was already holding a fist). She proceeds to locate a vein. Picks out a GIGANTIC needle and jabs it in. Then I guess she decides she is not getting the blood quick enough so she proceeds to shove the needle FURTHER INTO MY VEIN! It was so painful my toes curled and I actually let out a whimper! Now for anyone that knows me, know that I am a CHAMP when it comes to getting my blood drawn. I am soooooo used to it from childhood that I usually think of it as no big deal. Well this bitch butchered me! How is it that I have NO bruising or any evidence to ANY of the other four blood draws I got over the last week - but from her I do. My thoughts are, if you having a bad day and your job is to draw peoples blood - CALL IN SICK! This is a job you need to perform at a 110%!!!!! Don't torture the patient because you HATE YOUR JOB!!!!

My arm is still killing me over 6hrs later!!!

It just added to an already difficult morning. I maybe had my BF in my stomach a few minutes before puking it back up in my kitchen sink (yes I puked in the kitchen again). And then when I got home from the Lab I was so upset about how much my arm hurt that I vomited up my AM snack!!!! And now I have a RAGING HEADACHE!!!

But hey, I still love feeling all these symptoms! It really makes me feel like everything is going to be ok this time. So despite all this drama today, I can still laugh and smile....

Morning Sickness and My Kitchen

Ok, so as of today I have discovered that my pregnant body is NOT a fan of my kitchen! From the moments I found out I was expecting I have had really BAD instances of nausea in there! Two days in a row now I have tossed my breakfast all over the floor! Not enjoyable or fun to clean up! Thankfully I have not had any other incidents around the rest of my house. Typically the threat of me vomiting disappears somewhere around 10ish....however my queaziness sticks around most of the day! So far it seems to be food that triggers it. However I have realized the have bright sun light, body odors or pet odors also trigger.....Oddly enough brushing my teeth doesn't - but having my hands over my head for too long (blow drying hair, putting a pony tail in or hanging up clothes) seems to trigger the nausea as well.

Man, it is going to be a long ride! However, we are so over the moon this time (last time I didn't have such strong/prominent symptoms) that every time I puke - my Hubby and I just smile and laugh!

A Good Sunday

So last night was stressful. I had woke up from a nap and found a pin-prick worth of blood in my panties and my heart fell. Even though I had gotten the results that my hCG had doubled, I still feared the worst! I was crampy and panicking inside. However, within a few hours the cramps disappeared and there was never anymore blood. So, I went to bed with a resolve that everything was going to be ok.

So, in comparison Today is a Good Day! I was able to sleep in a little (but still feel exhausted). And every time I do anything that requires an excursion of energy I feel like I am going to hurl. But it is still a good day. I wish I could fast fwd 10weeks and enter my 2nd trimester already so I can shout the news from the top of the highest peak! It is killing me inside not telling my folks - but it is for everyone's well-being that we don't. So far only 3 people know: My Sis (because she doesn't tell my parents ANYTHING and she could use some good news), My BFF Mel (because I could never hide anything from her) and my Girlfriend Lara (because she is a mom my age and gives me a lot of perspective and guidance). Other then that, only my Hubby and the ladies on Baby-Gaga know EVERYTHING. And for now I guess that is enough. I just hope I can hold my glee in and hide the belly until we can spill the beans.

hCG's

So my doc ordered me to take four Hcg tests early on to confirm this pregnancy was starting off strong.

9/18/08 - Hcg #1 = 54 (right on target for 3.6weeks)
9/20/08 - Hcg#2 = 106
9/22/08 - Hcg#3 = 200
9/24/08 - Hcg#4 = 406 (Doc says I will not be able to see anything on U/S until I reach 1500-2000)

Normal Values for Hcg Levels

Gestational Age
3-4 weeks 9-130 mIU/mL

4-5 weeks 75-2,600 mIU/mL

5-6 weeks 850-20,800 mIU/mL

6-7 weeks 4,000-100,200 mIU/mL

7-12 weeks 11,500-289,000 mIU/mL

12-16 weeks 18,300-137,000 mIU/mL

16-29 weeks 1,400-53,000 mIU/mL

29-41 weeks 940-60,000 mIU/mL

Normal Males and Non-Pregnant Females: <5 mIU/mL

Pics of the Sticks

Hopefully a new beginning with a happy ending

I can only describe my current state of emotion like this: I feel like I am standing at the edge of a cliff and praying that the wind blows in the RIGHT direction.

I started this year off at the top of the world! After almost two years of TTC, my Hubby and I had discovered we were pregnant in Dec 07. We were so excited that we told EVERYONE! When you want something so bad, you never dream that something will take it away - that would just be demonic! However, by the end of Jan. our smiles quickly turned to heartache when we were told our lil peanut was no more. We were lucky enough to see her heartbeat - but would never hear it, never hold her. It was devistating.

We spent the majority of this year repairing from the devistation and not in a rush to TTC right away. However, the closer I got to what would have been our original due date - I knew I wanted to try again. So, we embarked on what we thought would be another rough road on fertility drugs - but much to our surprise we succeeded in one cycle!

Thats right - Our Ego is Prego. So, now I will dedicate this blog to my journey through motherhood in hopes that it is a long one. If you want to know MORE about my last year you can read all about it at Baby-Gaga.com. Below is some basic info on my journey so far.

8/20/08 - CD1
8/22/08 - CD3 Begin Clomid 100mgs
8/28/08 - CD9 Fertility Monitor started - Registered LOW
8/29/08 - CD10 - Starting BDing - Wooohoooo!
9/1/08 - CD13 - Fertility Monitor Registered HIGH, Cramping in PM
9/4/08 - CD16 - Temp Dropped, Camping PM
9/5/08 - CD17 - Fertility Monitor Registered PEAK, Temp Spiked
9/6/08 - CD18 - OVULATION, Monitor PEAK, Temp PEAK, Cramping
9/7/08 - DPO1 - Fertility Monitor Registered HIGH, Temp Dipped
9/10/08 - Progesterone Blood Test - 9.1 (Definitely O'd this cycle)
9/14 & 15 - BFN HPT (Took them due to nausea)
9/18/08 - DPO12 - 3 BFP's (Waiting on blood work to celebrate)
9/26/08 - Annual with OBGYN - Now my first U/S