Completely Ahh Struck

You know I consider myself a very lucky girl to have a great relationship not only with my parents, but also with all of my in-laws. And since my Hubby has two sets of parents - I am TRULY lucky to not only get along with all of them - but to feel genuinely loved and accepted by all of them!

This Christmas was a little bit of a bust because Jerry and I didn't get to have them all under the same roof like we have had over the last two years. Jer's Dad and Step-Mother Sharon are both sick with TERRIBLE colds and had to cancel their plans to come up and stay for a few days. Well what they lacked in physical presence, they sure made up for in the love dept. We both received a card with a MORE then generous monetary award inside for the both of us, a few days later a GINORMOUS box of Sees Candy and today a box FULL of wondrous items for decorating our nursery! I am just so blown away! I feel spoiled and loved and overwhelmed by their endless generosity!

I just feel that between all the Grandparents this lil one is going to have - that it is going to be spoiled way beyond what Jerry and I could ever dream!!!!

Now I do not have to go online and stare at the picture anymore, I can just go in the nursery and touch the quilts and stuffed animals and smile in anticipation!

I am feeling pretty blessed!

Project 2009

Now that X-Mas 2008 is officially behind us, Jer and I can't help but focus on working on the baby's room. We have had many people inquire about what sort of theme we were thinking of. Since we are both non-traditionalist, we of course have chosen to not go with PINK or BLUE! We started out wanting a beach/sea themed nursery - however the more we looked for patterns, the more we hated the idea. Everything we found was just not what we pictured! So, we went back to square one of looking at ALL options. We luckily found a print, we BOTH love, but problem is - it is a well known brand, but a pattern not carried in any main-stream store. So, we resorted to making a registry on-line and hope that our loved ones will help us with the finishing touches. We plan to buy 1 piece of furniture each month (from Target) and buy the main bedding set - everything else will be included in the baby-shower invite. But for those of you that want a sneak peek:




It is by Lambs & Ivy and the print is called Papagayo. We just knew it was "IT" as soon as we saw it. It just looks so comfy, soothing and loving. If you want to check out the rest of the stuff you can find it at BabySuperMall.com. I swear I must look at the above pic at LEAST once a week! I cannot wait to walk into the room and be surrounded by it. Since I didn't do the whole traditional wedding dress search - I can only imagine this is what finding the perfect dress feels like!

My Mom and Sis also suckered me into bailing on my registry I had started at Target and go to Babies R Us. I am glad I did because man do they take care of the preggers!!! We had a fun Mom/Sis day looking at all the stuff and dreaming of what to add. I of course being a realist - I only added what was affordable and highly-rated by other mom's - lol! And for those of you that cannot wait to sneak a peek at that one either you can find us at BabiesRUs.com and search our name.

Anywho, I guess I am just REALLY excited for the up coming year and all the joy it is going to bring!

What a Great Christmas!

It didn't feel like it was supposed to be Christmas time at all these past few days! Between all the hustle and craziness, my mind just couldn't wrap itself around the fact that it was Christmas....and now it is over and I can't believe it! It was truly a special time this year! Over the last few days I have really begun to feel peanut kick and move around....I even treated my family in a little belly bump-rump on X-Mas eve. We were playing one of the Baby Mix songs, "Fly Me to The Moon," By good Ole Frank and the baby just started dancing....the next thing I know EVERYONE is asking for a dance with Peanut. It was way cool to share in the experience! And all though my parents gave me an EXTREMELY generous gift, it would have to be my Sis who yet again wins the brownie points for making my pregnancy a little more tolerable...she gave me the Cadillac of body Pillows - The Snoogle! Below is a pic of me taking it for a test drive




But all in all I am truly blown away with all the spoiling my loved ones did! I know the hard eco times is a great burden on all! So, all that spent MORE then they should have - I really do thank you and KNOW that no matter how much life sucks - it still rocks to spoil the ones you love! I just wish I could have spoiled you more in return!

The count down to Peanut's big unveiling is closing in on us! Just 11 more days until we find out with it is an Andrew or a Mikella! So stayyyyyyy tuned!

Just 19 More Days!

I can't believe it will only be 19 more days until we find out if our peanut is a peanut or a pistachio! It feels like the wait has taken F*O*R*E*V*E*R, but now that it is almost here 0 I can't believe in 19 short days we will know! I still can't believe I am already half done with this pregnancy! We have waited so long and it is going by so quickly!

Our appt with my OB went well. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat again via doppler. When I went in for my post ER check up it was barely audible, but this time we heard it loud and clear and even heard it rolling around in there. The Doc also took a measurement of my belly bump. I can't believe I am being measured now.....my weight hasn't jumped up very much at all and my blood pressure was still good. So all in all it was pretty routine and now we are just waiting for the next BIG APPT! I am so giddy! I can't wait to start calling it Andrew of Mikella and having lil chats. I feel like I FINALLY have something close to look forward to. With the X-Mas season around, I have just been so stressed and worried all the time. But, now I have something to make me smile in those moments of worry! Yeah me!

Time Flies

It feels like it was just yesterday that I wasn't pregnant. And now I am half done with this pregnancy! Man time flies! Over the last few weeks there hasn't been much to report on. I have been busy with work and worry over affording life and the Holidays. Jerry and I have started playing music for peanut a few times a night. Last Friday, the baby was rocking out to "black whole sun," by sound garden (daddy's choice) and he was able to feel the lil bugger rocking out in my tummy! Apparently our lil one is a fan of old Grunge music and Alicia Keyes - go figure. We have another check up tomorrow. However, I want to boycott it because my OB will not being doing an u/s this visit. We have to wait another whopping 4weeks to find out if we do infact have a peanut or a pistacio in there! Oh, well! I am hoping under some small x-mas miracle I can bribe her into giving us a peak. We shall see, but I seriously doubt it.

Since Sunday I have been battling a lovely head cold! Ugh. I just hope it doesn't get worse or stay around very long! I have the next two weeks off and of course I get sick now! Go figure!

Here is a pic or two of the bump since Thanksgiving!

First Flutter

Last night I was lying in bed getting settled and trying to fall asleep. I was on my back with my team of pillows supporting my head, shoulders, legs and I had my hands firmly placed on my lower tummy. Since I am still a bit sore from my run in with the gate, I was using the heat of my hands to sooth myself. Well there I was just laying there and I felt a distinct "tap, tap" right under my hand! I swear my heart stopped and so did my breath. I laid there for a second and thought, "Was it gas, was it just a muscle stretch?" But then I realized there was not twinge of pain or discomfort like I typically feel and it was literally like someone was giving me a quick double tap on the shoulder - except it was inside!!!

So, I did the whisper test to see if Jer had fallen asleep yet.....No answer....But then I hear, "huh?" And I tell him I felt the baby do a one, two punch. We giggled a bit and eventually we both went to sleep....of course Jer was well off in slumber before I was - typical!

14weeks 6Days

This is the pic we scored last night in the ER. Peanut is sucking it's thumb!

A Crazy Sleepless Night

Well, I officially had my first close call! I was at work yesterday (Nannying) and I pulled a bone head move. I walked right into the gate arm at the house I work at and took a blow directly across my lower abdomen. I practically doubled over the thing. What a shock to my system! I immediately thought, "oh god the baby!" After getting into the house I went to the rest room to check for bleeding or fluid leaking....luckily there was none - but man did my baby oven ever hurt! Well I sat for a bit to let things settle, felt a little better and went back to work. Well by the time I got home and started relaxing, I started having these pulsing pains about every 10min or so. So I busted out the baby books and read up on abdominal trauma and what to do. I called the ER and asked the advice nurse and she advised me to come in. The ER at 10:30pm? What a hell whole! Well we got back out of bed, made the drive, checked in at 10:30 and didn't get discharged until 3:45am!!!!!!

At first a nurse attempted to hear the heartbeat with a fetal Doppler - that didn't work since the baby was so wiggly and far back. Then I waited for another 1.5 hrs to see the Doc....who ordered an ultrasound and also wanted to admit me to the Labor and Delivery Dept to monitor what they considered contractions. Then Bob came in....Bob butchered me with and IV line....I hate Bob!

Once we finally got into the u/s we saw that our baby was just dandy. We even saw it suck its thumb and wave us off like we were bothering it....go figure. They checked my placenta and uterine wall and all seemed to be intact and no trauma. The tech even tried to confirm the sex but no luck.

Well she wheeled me back into the ER where we sat for another hour. bob came back and told me that they were just waiting on L&D to come get me and they were going to hold me for a few hours while they monitored me and the baby.....well another 45min passed - nobody. Finally Bob came back and told me I would be staying put in the ER for another hour to be monitored since L&D doesn't admit patients less then 20weeks. So at this point Jer and I just lost all hope of ever getting home and seeing our bed at a reasonable hour. About 45min into the hour of "observation," I said screw it and demanded to go home. And it took another 45min + for that process.

So, needless to say - we are pooped! But still have to work! But we are just thrilled the baby and I are OK.

Updates

Its funny how life has ways of telling you - TAKE IT EASY! I have been working my butt off through my first trimester and man was it hard. But now that I am in my 2nd T and feeling a but more normal, it is hard not to just go at full steam! It is hard having to choose to sit tight and let others do things on my behalf. When I ask my Hubby for a back rub after a grueling day I fee like a Diva....I hate asking for stuff!

I got my first bloody nose yesterday morning. Nothing bad, but definitely had blood on the tissue when I blew. Crazy. Also I have started collecting pillows all around me at night. I was absolutely surrounded last night. I doubt Jer could even see me! I must invest in one of those long body pillows - SOON! Also, the bump has officially arrived and the lil flub I had on the waist before getting knocked up is slowly being pushed up and out! Arg! I am only 3 mos and I look like I am six when I am REALLY relaxed. But when I was hovering over the stove last night in my maternity clothes...my Hubby remarked on how awesome I looked all prego! It was funny and touching. Man am I glad I got him all brainwashed!

Other then that I am feeling better, but have had some random occurrences of Morning sickness. It is terrible! I think I had totally blocked all that out of my mind a few weeks ago...long enough for me to forget how horrible it is...then WAMO! In the car both times! I am so happy I never took my sick bag out of the car!

I am getting EXTREMELY anxious about finding out the sex! Every chart I plug my info into says Boy - but I REALLY want to know! Ya know? We have our next check up at 18weeks on the 17th and will have the u/s to find the sex out sometime in mid Jan. Man I wish that would come ALREADY! I'm too impatient!

13weeks

Baby is VERY active and has a crazy strong heartbeat!

Starting to Smile Again

Man, were the first three months a doozy! I was seriously beginning to think I was going to be prisoner to puking forever! My worst fear was potentially facing feeling terribly my entire pregnancy! However, I am happy to say I have not puked in almost two weeks and man does it make a difference! I am actually starting to smile again! Go figure! Not to say I am one of those crazy ladies who love every waking moment of being prego, but I am feeling like the old Shan again....well little by little anyway. Now if I could just get proper sleep and say goodbye to soar boobs I would be one happy camper!

My newest struggles include the outrageous acne that slowly takes over my face through out the day. On Monday I was perturbed as to why ppl had stopped making eye contact with me....until I got home and discovered I have 3 GINORMOUS whiteheads on my chin....so foul! I shower and my hair is an oil slick be night time. Uhg. Oh and like clock work I hit 3mos and inherrited heartburn....even if I am just drinking water! Uhg. That and I am already walking with a waddle. Yeah a frickin waddle. I thought that wouldn't happen until at least the END of the 2nd trimester!!! But to avoid lower back pain later on in the evening, I now walk with a flippin waddle!

Well before I go off the prego deep end I will conclude this entry. I really am feeling a sense of calm about me. I am giddy again and it feels nice! I have another ultrasound on Wednesday to check for Down Syndrom - so I am sure I will get a few new pics then!

Is it too soon to celebrate?

I haven't thrown up since Sunday! Can you believe it? I can't! But I keep asking myself, is it too soon to celebrate? I am weary. Now that is not to say that I have not had my waves of nausea. But to actually be able to keep my meals down is splendid. The only down side is now I REALLY have to watch what I eat! I have found that Ginger Ale is FINALLY providing me some relief when I feel a wave hit me. Hell I was in the shower the other night and felt it coming....so I banged on the wall for Jerry to come...he came...I requested Ginger Ale (in the shower)...He asked me if I would like a sandwich with that....I replied - SMART ASS! lol. So there I was in the shower sipping me Ginger Ale. I totally reminded me of the Friends episode where Vegetarian Phoebe is preggers with her brother's triplets and she smells something she wants....so she goes into the bathroom where Joey is taking a shower. She tells him there is something in the shower that smells REALLY good....after eliminating shampoo, soap and all the normal stuff - he pulls out a sandwich filled with meat and that turns out to be what she wants...

A Shower = Awesome
A Joey Style Sandwich = Crazy
A Joey eating a sandwich in the shower = Crazy Awesome!

Anywho, I am REALLLLLLY hoping this throwing up thing is behind me! Can it get any better then that? I submit that it CANNOT!

So Many Mixed Emo's

So last night just before I went to bed my mind started wondering like it typically does. However, this "mind trip" was an emotional one. I freaked out as to whether or not I am REALLY ready to be a mommy. Not in the sense that - will I be able to care for my child, but rather do I possess enough character and substance to shape another life. With the exception of getting married and staying happily married, I really do not feel like I have accomplished much to be proud of. I want my child to see me as someone to look up to and to want to be like. When I REALLY see myself, I just see someone who "fakes it really well." I have fear that I will continue to fake it, until I am seen as a fraud. I have big ideas but I usually quit before the finish line. It would be great to be able to finish something and be proud and successful. I know that success is in the creative mind's eye....but how do you bring yourself from just being creative to actually being successful?

Man I would love to just mentally check out for a bit. Thinking can be tiring!

OMG! OMG! OMG!

So sorry for all of you that have been checking my blog daily looking for updates on the Peanut. I am working two jobs PLUS bringing work home with me so I have just been swamped.

So, before I get to the good stuff I will give you a little update on me. My morning sickness was TERRIBLE the last two weeks, but over the weekend I was fooled into thinking it was gone for good - but it came back with a vengeance last night! So I guess I will be struggling with it for at least another two weeks. Sucky! Hopefully it just remains sparse or just go away all together! As for the rest of my long list of changes...the boobs have leveled off in growing, but not hurting and my acne is OUT OF CONTROL! It is like I am 16 all over again! Other then that I am SLEEPY and short fused and my lower back is starting to hurt daily.

Now for the good stuff.....

We went in for our last ultrasound (for awhile anyway) and I also got a pap and exam. We were expecting to hear the heartbeat and get it on video - but they wound up putting us in a u/s room not equipped with sound.....so we had to settle for seeing the lil peanut. And let me tell you....it looked more like a SNOW MAN this time! We no longer think Peanut is a good desciption! We were BLOWN away how much growth took place in just two weeks! It looks like a lil baby now! We even got to see the lil arms and legs kicking around! It was AMAZING!!!! Whata lil Mini-Fister! Over the next 7 months my womb is going to have hell to pay! So, our doc said all was GREAT and the heartbeat LOOKED strong! So, we are just so totally excited!

I go in at the end of twelve weeks for for my Utlra-Screen to start the detection and testing for Down Syndrom. Better to be safe then sorry!

Anywho - here is our "lil Peanut!"

OMG I am 9weeks Already!

Man I am sprinting to the 3 month mark! I want to pass that milestone sooooo bad! I want to graduate from soar boobs, morning-noon-night sickness and constant fatigue! But most of all I want the peace of mind graduating from the first trimester brings!

It is funny for me to have ppl ask me how the baby is doing....when I am between appts I have no clue. I haven't the faintest idea what to say. I can only judge how I am feeling. And obviously that is from one extreme to the other!

This weekend was pretty awesome. Jerry and I were in our best friends wedding over the weekend and it was a blast! We had a TON of ppl giving us congrats on our lil peanut and asking a million questions. It was really awesome to have so many ppl happy for us and wanting to be part of it all.

I guess I am just giddy because our lil peanut finally graduated from the blob phase on the ticker to looking like an actual human being. Yeah Peanut!

Victory is MINE!

Today I went in to get my prenatal blood work done and luck would have it - I got the F'ing C-Biscuit as my phelotomist again! Now I had sworn up and down that I would ask for someone else if I was to happen upon her again....however I decided against it. There was a long wait and I didn't want to have to wait any longer. So we went into her booth and before I could even sit down I said...."Would you mind using the small needle on me? They tend to work better and not collapse my veins." I got no response. She just went about shuffling the various viles she would be filling and assigning them stickers. Well once she was done, she got the needle pkg out and prepped my vein. She poked it in and -YES - there was no pain. Then she says, "Smaller needles just take longer.." to which my reply was - "I don't mind if you don't." Which seemed to shut her the hell up. Well then she switches gears and decides to compliment me on my necklace. She asked if I had made it, I told her no and it was a gift from my sister.....Then I added - "It is a miscarriage survivor necklace." And this changed her sour-puss attitude all together! HA! She gave me the standard apologies and I switch topic to this pregnancy. She chatted nicely as the viles filled and I was lucky to get out of there with NO PAIN and my vein still intact.....Heck she even wished me luck.

Don't you just love happy endings!

PS - I can't believe I am 8weeks AKA 2MONTHS PREGO TODAY!!!!!!

Video of 2nd Ultrasound 10-10-08

You cannot see the flicker of the heart beat on film and due to the EXCITED Father-To-Be the taping is a little shaky - but you get the point.

1st Bump Pic

Now, I am not sure if you can actually call it a baby bump at 7wks 2Days....but I have definitely lost the ability to suck it in. I will continue to take new pics every Saturday. Stay tuned!

On TOP OF THE WORLD!

Today was such and AMAZING DAY! We went in for our 2nd ultrasound today HOPING to see the heart beat. We were so scared that we were going to get terrible news. But, once the u/s started we SAW the heart beat IMMEDIATELY! Such a strong lil flicker. We were so happy....and then the Dr. turned up the sound and we HEARD the HEART BEAT!!!!!! That strong "wom, wom, wom" noise just sent us through the roof! Something we didn't expect at all! We are measuring at 7weeks 1Day and are right on target. We are SOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

I'm All Over The Place

Man, the last few days have been a TOTAL roller coaster for me! I am all over the place! I spent the ENTIRE weekend convinced something was wrong because my morning sickness suddenly disappeared only to have it return with vengeance Monday morning and evening. Apparently my m/s is completely dependent upon how early or late I get up! So if I get up very early in the AM I have the pukes...if I sleep past 9am - I'm all good for the day.

The next thing I am so all over the place about is my pregnancy in general. I get excited to tell people and then once I do I FREAK OUT thinking it was a mistake....what if something goes wrong again and I have to tell all these people sike! I just don't (can't) go through all that again. I just can't let go of this fear.

We have our next u/s on Friday to see the heartbeat. I feel in my bones that all will be ok and I have nothing to worry about. But then I keep worrying. And apparently my Hubby is still worried as well. It is just hard. We are positive but still very fearful.

Where is the fast fwd button when you need one?

Exciting News!

I just got an email from one of my girlfriends I have known since Jr. High and she is PREGNANT TOO! Her name is Samantha and she is already a mother to an adorable lil boy - but now her any her Hubby are expecting #2! She is about 12weeks along and due hopefully some time around my b-day in April. Whata cool thing! I've always wanted to be prego with a pal....too bad she lives so far away! Here is a pic of here in I in highschool...what memories!

If my inner monologue could just give me a break

I would be a much happier camper. It seems I am living 90% of my life in my head lately. All the what if's are driving my nutso! And the paranoia is getting to me as well. Tomorrow is a monumental day for us. I am exactly 6weeks today. If I can surpass 6wks 1Day I think I will be much happier person! For those of you that have no clue why - 6wks 1Day is the length of our last pregnancy. So, for this pregnancy it serves as a mile stone for us. On Friday we have another appt to hopefully see the heartbeat. I am looking forward to it, but I am also scared out of my mind that nothing will be there. I don't think I will be able to breath or not worry until we HEAR the heartbeat. I want so badly just to fast fwd to that moment! I think after that I will just be able to let all this stress go and just enjoy being pregnant! If that is even possible - lol

Another new symptom has reared its head.....SCARY ASS VIVID DREAMS! I am not talking about the type where you forget your baby in the car on a 110 degree day or you dream that you give birth to a maget baby. I am talking horror movie type dreams that are so detailed and unforgettable that I wake up ina cold sweat or fear and terror! Wes Craven ain't got nuttin on my psyche! Every time I go to sleep it is a new thriller that I would rather skip! What the F is wrong with me. I would rather have the skinless baby dreams!!!!

Very Emo Today

I had a rough ride on the basin bus this morning and I can't seem to get my emo's in control. Life is not easy right now and I am finding it extremely difficult not to stress. I hope this day is an easy one, my heart is already toooo heavy to deal with more.

Am I Just Being Paranoid?

So this morning I woke up and I felt like something was just not right. I was crampy like I was going to get my visit from AF and my boobs didn't hurt as much as they have been and my morning sickness has seemed to chill out over the last few days. I questioned whether or not to call the doc and ask for more hCG's or if I should just chill out. As I went to ask my Hubby in the car if I was being paranoid - I gagged midsentence, he laughed and told me I was!!! So, I tried dinking water to see if that would help the cramps and it did some what. And my MS did rear its ugly head on the way to work this morning and while at work. So, I guess I am just being toooo parinoid. I guess I am just expecting the worse since I am used to it. I am under so much financial stress right now that I am losing my mind. There are only two things in the world I want right now. A job that pays enough and a full term pregnancy! Is that too much to ask?

I just feel so off today

I spent the weekend do waaaaaaay more then I should have. My BFF is getting married in a few short weeks and I hosted her bachelorette party. It was a three day event and I think I got about 6hrs sleep the entire weekend. So today I feel so floopy and out of it! I woke up this morning and just couldn't keep my eyes open. Every time I get up I feel like my head is swimming. I am feeling a little better now, but still not 100%. Every time I ly down to sleep - I can't seem to fall asleep. This blows. I feel like something is wrong, but I am sure that is just paranoia.

On top of all this, it is my Hubby and my 6yr wedding anniversary today. We do not have a lot of extra dough right now, so my parents are taking us out to dinner. Which is nice because we plan to tell them tonight about the baby. We made this really cool DVD of all these pics of us over the last 10yrs and at the end is the pic of of the HPT and then the firs u/s. I'm sure they are going to flip out! Hopefully tell them this soon is the right thing to do. I hate hiding it. There are just some days a girl really needs her mom......

Our Lil Peanut's First Picture

So I just got back from our first appt. We were told not to expect to see anything on the u/s since I am still very early in my pregnancy. But the Doc wanted to make sure our lil peanut was not tubal or anything like that.

She said that she likes the looks of everything! So we are going back in 2weeks for another u/s and to start our actual prenatal screenings.

I am measuring RIGHT on target at 4wks 6Days!!!!

Nervous

So I just can't help being nervous today. We have our first OB/GYN appt today and I am just panicked that we are going to be terrible news. Every appt we have had baby related (prior to this pregnancy) has never been a positive one. So, I am just gearing myself up for the worst but trying to expect the best. It is rough, but I am hanging in. I am really trying hard not to stress and just let things be. I am putting my heart in gods hands and hoping he takes care of it. At this point, I just can't take further disappointment or additional anguish!

On another note - I am really worried that this Baby Blog might sound to complaint driven. I really do not intend to complain. But I think that all Prego women do - right? I mean compared to my 1st pregnancy I am far less whiney -even though my symptoms are so much worse! I am REALLY smiling inside and my gripes are only my attempts to share with the few ppl around me that know. I really am grateful and want to experience all aspects of pregnancy....the good, the bad and the worse!!!!!

Last night my Hubby and I were driving back from errands and I felt a spell of "morning" sickness come on. Now I put "morning" in quotes because it was almost 8pm in the evening....so I had to puke in a shopping bag and then hold it for the rest of the drive....I turn to my Husband say, "Morning Sickness My Ass...." And he quickly replies with a sheepish smile, "Well it's morning somewhere in the world." And I just laughed! Thank god I have him to add in the humor when I am struggling to find it.

Yesterday's Symptoms:
Soar Boobs
Woke up with a headache
Morning Sickness (7:30am, 10:30am, 8pm & 10pm)
Fatigue
Restlessness
Frequest potty breaks
Acne
Emotional

F that F'ing C-Biscuit!!!!

So, I went for my last blood draw today. Every day that I have gone I have gotten someone different. Each person (up until this morning) was nice, courteous and drew my blood without me having to feel a thing. Well this morning that all changed! This crabby bitch didn't smile or say hello to me after calling my name. She sits me down and tells me to squeeze on this thing (even though I was already holding a fist). She proceeds to locate a vein. Picks out a GIGANTIC needle and jabs it in. Then I guess she decides she is not getting the blood quick enough so she proceeds to shove the needle FURTHER INTO MY VEIN! It was so painful my toes curled and I actually let out a whimper! Now for anyone that knows me, know that I am a CHAMP when it comes to getting my blood drawn. I am soooooo used to it from childhood that I usually think of it as no big deal. Well this bitch butchered me! How is it that I have NO bruising or any evidence to ANY of the other four blood draws I got over the last week - but from her I do. My thoughts are, if you having a bad day and your job is to draw peoples blood - CALL IN SICK! This is a job you need to perform at a 110%!!!!! Don't torture the patient because you HATE YOUR JOB!!!!

My arm is still killing me over 6hrs later!!!

It just added to an already difficult morning. I maybe had my BF in my stomach a few minutes before puking it back up in my kitchen sink (yes I puked in the kitchen again). And then when I got home from the Lab I was so upset about how much my arm hurt that I vomited up my AM snack!!!! And now I have a RAGING HEADACHE!!!

But hey, I still love feeling all these symptoms! It really makes me feel like everything is going to be ok this time. So despite all this drama today, I can still laugh and smile....

Morning Sickness and My Kitchen

Ok, so as of today I have discovered that my pregnant body is NOT a fan of my kitchen! From the moments I found out I was expecting I have had really BAD instances of nausea in there! Two days in a row now I have tossed my breakfast all over the floor! Not enjoyable or fun to clean up! Thankfully I have not had any other incidents around the rest of my house. Typically the threat of me vomiting disappears somewhere around 10ish....however my queaziness sticks around most of the day! So far it seems to be food that triggers it. However I have realized the have bright sun light, body odors or pet odors also trigger.....Oddly enough brushing my teeth doesn't - but having my hands over my head for too long (blow drying hair, putting a pony tail in or hanging up clothes) seems to trigger the nausea as well.

Man, it is going to be a long ride! However, we are so over the moon this time (last time I didn't have such strong/prominent symptoms) that every time I puke - my Hubby and I just smile and laugh!

A Good Sunday

So last night was stressful. I had woke up from a nap and found a pin-prick worth of blood in my panties and my heart fell. Even though I had gotten the results that my hCG had doubled, I still feared the worst! I was crampy and panicking inside. However, within a few hours the cramps disappeared and there was never anymore blood. So, I went to bed with a resolve that everything was going to be ok.

So, in comparison Today is a Good Day! I was able to sleep in a little (but still feel exhausted). And every time I do anything that requires an excursion of energy I feel like I am going to hurl. But it is still a good day. I wish I could fast fwd 10weeks and enter my 2nd trimester already so I can shout the news from the top of the highest peak! It is killing me inside not telling my folks - but it is for everyone's well-being that we don't. So far only 3 people know: My Sis (because she doesn't tell my parents ANYTHING and she could use some good news), My BFF Mel (because I could never hide anything from her) and my Girlfriend Lara (because she is a mom my age and gives me a lot of perspective and guidance). Other then that, only my Hubby and the ladies on Baby-Gaga know EVERYTHING. And for now I guess that is enough. I just hope I can hold my glee in and hide the belly until we can spill the beans.

hCG's

So my doc ordered me to take four Hcg tests early on to confirm this pregnancy was starting off strong.

9/18/08 - Hcg #1 = 54 (right on target for 3.6weeks)
9/20/08 - Hcg#2 = 106
9/22/08 - Hcg#3 = 200
9/24/08 - Hcg#4 = 406 (Doc says I will not be able to see anything on U/S until I reach 1500-2000)

Normal Values for Hcg Levels

Gestational Age
3-4 weeks 9-130 mIU/mL

4-5 weeks 75-2,600 mIU/mL

5-6 weeks 850-20,800 mIU/mL

6-7 weeks 4,000-100,200 mIU/mL

7-12 weeks 11,500-289,000 mIU/mL

12-16 weeks 18,300-137,000 mIU/mL

16-29 weeks 1,400-53,000 mIU/mL

29-41 weeks 940-60,000 mIU/mL

Normal Males and Non-Pregnant Females: <5 mIU/mL

Pics of the Sticks

Hopefully a new beginning with a happy ending

I can only describe my current state of emotion like this: I feel like I am standing at the edge of a cliff and praying that the wind blows in the RIGHT direction.

I started this year off at the top of the world! After almost two years of TTC, my Hubby and I had discovered we were pregnant in Dec 07. We were so excited that we told EVERYONE! When you want something so bad, you never dream that something will take it away - that would just be demonic! However, by the end of Jan. our smiles quickly turned to heartache when we were told our lil peanut was no more. We were lucky enough to see her heartbeat - but would never hear it, never hold her. It was devistating.

We spent the majority of this year repairing from the devistation and not in a rush to TTC right away. However, the closer I got to what would have been our original due date - I knew I wanted to try again. So, we embarked on what we thought would be another rough road on fertility drugs - but much to our surprise we succeeded in one cycle!

Thats right - Our Ego is Prego. So, now I will dedicate this blog to my journey through motherhood in hopes that it is a long one. If you want to know MORE about my last year you can read all about it at Baby-Gaga.com. Below is some basic info on my journey so far.

8/20/08 - CD1
8/22/08 - CD3 Begin Clomid 100mgs
8/28/08 - CD9 Fertility Monitor started - Registered LOW
8/29/08 - CD10 - Starting BDing - Wooohoooo!
9/1/08 - CD13 - Fertility Monitor Registered HIGH, Cramping in PM
9/4/08 - CD16 - Temp Dropped, Camping PM
9/5/08 - CD17 - Fertility Monitor Registered PEAK, Temp Spiked
9/6/08 - CD18 - OVULATION, Monitor PEAK, Temp PEAK, Cramping
9/7/08 - DPO1 - Fertility Monitor Registered HIGH, Temp Dipped
9/10/08 - Progesterone Blood Test - 9.1 (Definitely O'd this cycle)
9/14 & 15 - BFN HPT (Took them due to nausea)
9/18/08 - DPO12 - 3 BFP's (Waiting on blood work to celebrate)
9/26/08 - Annual with OBGYN - Now my first U/S