If my inner monologue could just give me a break

I would be a much happier camper. It seems I am living 90% of my life in my head lately. All the what if's are driving my nutso! And the paranoia is getting to me as well. Tomorrow is a monumental day for us. I am exactly 6weeks today. If I can surpass 6wks 1Day I think I will be much happier person! For those of you that have no clue why - 6wks 1Day is the length of our last pregnancy. So, for this pregnancy it serves as a mile stone for us. On Friday we have another appt to hopefully see the heartbeat. I am looking forward to it, but I am also scared out of my mind that nothing will be there. I don't think I will be able to breath or not worry until we HEAR the heartbeat. I want so badly just to fast fwd to that moment! I think after that I will just be able to let all this stress go and just enjoy being pregnant! If that is even possible - lol

Another new symptom has reared its head.....SCARY ASS VIVID DREAMS! I am not talking about the type where you forget your baby in the car on a 110 degree day or you dream that you give birth to a maget baby. I am talking horror movie type dreams that are so detailed and unforgettable that I wake up ina cold sweat or fear and terror! Wes Craven ain't got nuttin on my psyche! Every time I go to sleep it is a new thriller that I would rather skip! What the F is wrong with me. I would rather have the skinless baby dreams!!!!