Can't Stop Smiling

I found out today that another person close to my heart got what she has wanted most of all - a positive home pregnancy test! And I couldn't feel more happier! When you struggle to get pregnant and stay pregnant - a win for a friend, becomes a win for you as well!

Last year (Jan 31st) Jerry and I found out that our first pregnancy was no longer thriving and our world just came crashing down around us. I can still recall the raw pain I felt as if it just happened yesterday. I suppose it is a scar that never completely heals - it only gets less visible on the surface as time passes. At the time I couldn't make sense of why it was happening to us, to me - or what was the point of it all. It seems cruel to give someone such a precious gift, only to take it away.

I turned to an online chat forum for Suffer&Loss at Baby-Gaga.com. I unfortunately found a LOT of other ladies whom were continuing to suffer or just newly suffering like me. Lisa was one of them. We had miscarried within a week of each other and out of all the gals that I had met - I bonded with her the most. We "healed" together even though we live on opposite sides of the country. We got to know one another, support one another and try to make sense of it all. And when we started to TTC again - we were there for each other as well - laughing all the way. We jokingly belonged to a group of ladies called the "Clomid Clique." Over the months we all compared notes on our cycles, our side effects, our triumphs and defeats - let me tell you, it was a hell of a ride!

I however, only belonged to the CC for 1 cycle before getting my second chance at pregnancy - but Lisa wasn't so lucky. She went through 4 more months and with each month I "saw" my friend losing hope and will and it killed me! She was becoming distant and withdrawn from the whole community and I just felt terrible! I wanted my struggle to remind her to keep positive. But how can you convince someone to stay positive on a subject that has only given them grief?!

That is why I am TOTALLY stoked for her today! Her win is my win! I am so happy that she finally got to see the word "pregnant" without the "not" in front of it! I can't think of anyone who deserves to be happier then her right now! I am going to do some serious praying that god doesn't take this one back. She deserve this chance to be a mommy dammit! I want to keep her on team prego! I want her to have the joy in my soul that I have. Andrew is the most wonderful gift I have ever received. For all those women out there that struggle for the same gift, deserve their chance! So, I am just so very happy that Lisa is getting hers!

Home Run for the Angel-Mommies!